Madness
by hellisinearth
Summary: Ali is in a psychiatrich. She's always alone in her dark room... One day she will met Vladimir...he's quite shy and he's not sociable either. They may have met by fortune...or by destiny... This is a voyage though madness and mental illnesses, be careful not to lose your mind through it...
1. Chapter 1

Ali's P.O.V.

_I couldn't take it any longer. They were screaming. They were drowning. I was falling, and they…they were flying. _

_Hell is above they say, above the Earth. It has fire, and there's this kind guy called Satan that is quite friendly. There's pain and everything is painted in bloody red. _

_Well that's what they say…or what the Bible says anyway. _

_Surely I know that's not hell for me. _

_The blackness…it surrounds me…pain…pain is everywhere felt…and there's this emptiness that's cold; freezing cold. _

_Yet I find it quite comfy although. I have my corner; I curl up there and feel safer. There are this little ghosts, they speak to me…they frighten me. I try not to hear them…but hey, madness is here my friend, it's everywhere…it's such a lovely place…_

_I couldn't stand it anymore. They took me here, into this dark room. There's someone in front of me…is he real? Well…that's yet to be found…_

He was my greatest strength, yet…he was still my worst weakness…

I wanted to annihilate him…it was so tempting…he couldn't understand me. He could not understand how I felt…so I thought…I thought he ought to be killed.

Isn't it funny? People stay…people go…people pass away…people die…people li-Oh, wait. What was I going to say?! Oh my I forgot…OH HOW FUNNY IT IS MY DEAR! - Oh well what was I saying…think…think…OH GOD YOU MUST THINK!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. God is dead.

So…well whatever…never mind…

You know? I'm not important…so why are you? What makes you different?

Is it your hair color? OH DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE BLOND, RIGHT?! YAY I WAS RIGHT- Oh shut up you idiot, don't talk to me right now, the voices in the head are busy, aren't they? Oh yes they are...what voices…Oh you see…they are all here…*knock knock*…up here…*hits her head*yeah there…where the pain is felt…all in my head.

But…why the hell am I talking to you?! **ROT IN HELL!**

_I hit the mirror with my fist…it hurt…my hand was covered in this dark red color, a characteristic trait of blood. I was astonished by it until I detected the reflection of the mirror doing the same…always there…copying me…I COULDN'T STAND IT. _

_I broke it, punched it, kicked it, and the glass fell into a million little pieces which made my fragile and pale skin shiver while I felt sickness and an aching sensation everywhere. I wasn't aware of that. I was filled with hatred now. I hated her. But…she was my only company…_


	2. Chapter 2

Ali's P.O.V.

_Someone entered the room. _My _room. Even though it was completely dark, I could hear the footsteps in the corridor. I knew these footsteps. _

_I heard him knocking at my door, and then...silence. _

Go away!- _I shouted. I sounded like I was...crying in pain? Well that was none of his business..._

_But he didn't mind my opinion, and entered the room. I crawled in the darkness and curled up in my corner, trembling. _

_He sat in front of me. He didn't turn on the light...he knew I didn't like it, but I could tell he was looking right into my eyes, he was trying to reach my soul, my mind, but he couldn't; as always. _

_He started talking, he knew because of his further experience that I would not talk. Not with him. Not here. Not now. _

You know this isn't going to help you, right?- _he asked. I didn't answer, I was not in the mood, so he continued with his speech - _If you don't let your feelings out we are not going to be able to help you. Also sitting in this dark room all alone, won't make you any better. And destroying the mirror won't help you at all. - _he expected me to respond in some way, but I just continued trembling, that was all. He started humming a song, that made me nervous, and I got closer to the wall, pressing my back to it, so hard it almost hurt. _

_Seeing this he stopped humming, and continued talking. _

Well, I have some news for you. You won't like them...but we think it'll be good for your health - _he waited for me to answer. I was tired, so I decided to gave him what he wanted, maybe he would leave me alone that way. _

Spit it out already... whatever it is, I don't think It'll be hard to deal with- _my voice sounded weak, and rusty. And also kinda manly, although I knew that was not what bothered me about speaking. It was just that I didn't owe him any explanations or answers, so I thought it didn't make much sense to talk to him._

_He seemed pleased. I think that was the first time I actually talked to him politely. He went on now with a tiny smile in his lips._

We're going to try doing group therapy. We think relating to other people with different mental issues will actually help you realize what your situation is, and also will help you to improve it and maybe...you could help other people...so well...that's it- _he's voice was softer now, I could tell he was more relaxed._

_We stood there for a moment in silence, and knewing he would not get any answer, he eventually got out of my room. _

_When he got out I wondered what he meant by group therapy...where we supossed to sat in a room altogether in a circle, and just talk our lives out? That was really not my thing...and the voices speaking at the same time as me wouldn't make it much easier..._

_I didn't know how to deal with it...and the voices were rushing now, screaming, was this insanity? _


	3. Chapter 3

Vladimir's P.O.V.

_I sat there quietly. Silence was ever lasting. So were I. _

_They didn't allow us to smoke in the hospital, but I couldn't care less. I lit up a cigarette and inhaled the nicotine. I liked how it felt, the smoke going down my throat, getting into my lungs, slowly killing me. _

_Time passed by. Hours, minutes, days, months, seconds; whatever, I didn't really care. _

_I felt nothing. Oblivion never felt so sweet, yet sour. I couldn't remember a thing; the past weeks were not clear in my mind, I could not remember last year's events either. I felt like something or someone was missing from me, yet, I stood there still, trying to forget that feeling. _

_I could avoid it. Numbness was the solution. I couldn't feel pain, yet I didn't have the possibility of feeling happiness, or any other positive emotion. _

_Actually, that state wasn't my first option. I tried killing me, drinking, and then drugs: but neither of these worked. So I ended up like this. _

_I looked quite fragile, I could tell that by the look in my mother's eyes: they were filled by sadness, empathy, and comprehension. Father didn't come to visit me. Our relationship was...actually...complicated. _

_My face was pale, and I had dark circles around my eyes. I didn't sleep well, I had a lot of nightmares and woke up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and trembling of fear. I usually shouted quite a lot while I dreamt. _

_Doctors came to visit me twice a week, and often asked me how I felt, for that question they would always get no answer: just a cloud of smoke in response. _

_My room was clean, almost spotless, I was kinda fanatical about celanliness. The bed was tidy, and there was no decoration in the room: all of it was painted in white, except the floor that was black. _

_There were no mirrors, and no paintings. I had a table, and next to it there was a big round window, with white curtains also. The table was were I passed most of my time. I sat there, opened my notebook and draw or write for hours. None of the doctors knew that I had the notebook in there. The things I drew were strange. Usually faces...demons...trees...fallen leaves...black birds..._

_A park was seen through the window. It was winter at the time, and snow covered the grass, that was rotting. _

Hell is in earth, I thought, and then I exhaled the cigarette's smoke.


	4. Chapter 4

Vladimir P.O.V.

_Someone knocked at my door. I didn't bother to answer, because the door was unlocked as usual, and either way I could not care less of these people _outside.

_A tall man entered the room. He was pale, dark-haired, and tired-looking. He had big blue eyes, and very long lashes, and I could feel pain and sorrow by the he looked at me, but I did not care. I didn't want any trouble, and also, I knew that man pitied me, so I actually kinda hated him. _

_He stood still in the door, not knowing what to do, and for a moment he doubted. But that were just only seconds. Although, they felt like ages to me. _

_He finally entered the room, and locked the door which made me feel trapped and uncomfortable, but I guess that didn't matter to him. _

_He sat on my bed, staring at me, trying to feel confident, although I knew he was a bit scared by my looks, or maybe by me, or just the situation...I really don't know. _

_I waited for him to tell me why he was here, but he didn't say a word, so I lit up another cigarrette and killed the time. Eventually he gasped, and started his discourse. I could tell by they way he moved he had practised this speech. Ugh, the guy that was supposed to treat me was a youngster, he was my age, and was terrified by me. _

Um...we actually...the doctors and I...we discussed.._.- he sounded nervous and sweat covered his smiled to me like wanting reassurance, but well, __**I'm not the kind of person who smiles**__, so I jsut gave him an awkard look. He continued, now speaking fastly and moving his hands frantically while he gave desperate looks for the door- _We though it w-w-would be g-g-good for you to make..hmmm...group the- therapy...- _he exhaled relieved. _

_Group therapy? That wasn't that big of a deal. _

_The guy looked at me one last moment, and with a last deep breath he disappeared by the door. _

_So they actually thought that I was going to speak in that therapy for weird people? Hella no, I was not weird, I was mad, and depressed and I knew it. But...I could think of this as an expermient, I could analyze the subjects and observe them, and made conclusions about them and hypothesis. It'd be fun. _

_That night came early, in winter at 6 it became dark, and I was exhausted that day. Stars shone brightly in the dark cold night. I was totally totally besotted by the night's sounds, the colors...the pale moon, the sky that was now mid-purple mid-black, the trees that were actually now totally rotten and with the trunk twisted by the northern's winds force._

_I went to bed early, I bet it was at nine, but I cannot be sure since I don't have a clock in my room. I hate clocks because they tell me what time it is, and I don't actually think time can be measured. In fact I hate to recognise it, but it's kinda like an obsession with not thinking of what time it is. I think it's because then, probably I'll suddenly realize that I have wasted all my life. But that doesn't matter anyway. _

_I tried to sleep but my mind was rushing. I couldn't think clearly...everything was suddenly so...dizzy...I felt like I was drunk...it was sick! _

_Eventually I fell in a deep sleep, and nightmares began. Blood, horror and terror filled my mind. And the screamings began...tears running through my face...the feeling of not being able to breath...I was seeking the morning...desperate...anxious...and a screamed started to form in my throat..._


End file.
